Kitties in the Land of Serendip

It's been a while

2010-12-21T14:50:00.002Z

Well, it's been a veery long time since I last posted here. And an even longer time since anyone read this blog. Oh well. So, I don't really know how to update my audience of zero. I'm now 15 (woo) and still posting here (woo) well, sort of. This post looks exactly like the other ones, disjointed and ultimately pointless (woo). I don't immediately want to post about Lizzie, but she was what I used to post about so I shall. Turns out she doesn't like oranges. Her little face recoils when an orange is anywhere near it. It's very funny. But we love her really. Oh yeah, it snowed. Lots. Well, some. Got school called off for one day, and now it's inconvenient. So. Wow, I really frequently use full stops and short sentences. I am so tempted to write lol. NO. Ok, this post is just random streams of consciousness. Since noone will read it, I guess it doesn't matter. RAWR. I just felt like writing that. I should have started some new paragraphs.

Oh well.

So I guess that's all she wrote for now. Or he. Or we. Or they. Or it. Or one. Or I. Or you. Or you (plural). Yeah.

I used to work as a rubber ball. They dropped me, but I managed to bounce back. Lulz. One of my hilarious jokes.

The Post With No Name...

2008-11-28T19:11:00.002Z

This post has been censored. Or at least, that's what the system wants you to believe... FIGHT THE SYSTEM!!! But, what is the system but a representation of ourselves? And, what are we but representations of the system? See, got you thinking. Well. That was so random it deserves a certificate:

---------Certificate of Randomness----------

This certificate certifies the certification of this blog author's randomness

GLAVIN!!!

Don't worry, I'm ok. Just need to focus on breathing and writing. But maybe not... *Stops breathing and writing*.

Breathing and writing again. Well, nothing is going on in the land of Serendip. NOW YOU CAN SEE LIZZIE VIDEOS!!!! See her here.

Well, I guess that's about it from me. Live on, in the land of Serendip!!

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Bunny has finally seen the truth due to this post. Please come back later.

Return of the Serendipitous Kitten

2008-10-18T19:59:00.002+01:00

Well, after a sort of hiatus (it's my personal aim to use hiatus in every post from now on) I'm doing another post. I can't really think of much to write so I'll try to pad this out for as long as I can before I eventually run out of steam and run to a grinding halt after another short but tedious post, oh yes, I'm also trying to include oxymorons in my posts now, as well *pants, has to be given oxygen for a few minutes**recovers* OK, now I will master the full stop. Yay! I just did one!!!

Lizzie had to be vaccinated from feline leukemia a few days ago, which resulted in a few... Interesting occurrences. The struggle to get Lizzie into her so called "Happy Prison" was as nothing compared to the struggle trying to get her out of it at the other end. Here is the easy 4 step guide to get Lizzie out of a cage:

(1) Call to her, rubbing your fingers together, making kissing noises, if this doesn't work, go to step 2:

(2) Put in a hand, making threatening sounds, if this doesn't work, go to step 3:

(3) After coating hand in brilliant, hi-tech protection kit (towel) reach hand in, and try and get cat out, if this doesn't work, go to step 4:

(4) Invert cat carrier completely, leaving cat no choice but to slide down, thus leaving the cat carrier. Congratulations, you've got Lizzie out of her cage in four "easy" steps! Now go and nurse those scratches, they look pretty painful.

After getting Lizzie out the cat decided now was a good time to play ~~hide~~ hiss and seek. She hid under various objects, incredibly fun, hissing all the while. Eventually when Lizzie was on the table, held down by a towel, her head nowhere to be seen, but her meows could be heard, now was time for the injection. A second vet had to be called in to "deal" with Lizzie. Eventually, the injection was administered, with a very annoyed Lizzie and 2 very bleeding vets. Oh, what fun we have in the Land of Serendip!

Bunny is having an injection administered for wabbit-leukemia, and is not here today.

Stuff

2008-10-02T16:59:00.002+01:00

In the words of Shakespeare, Romeo... Or was it Juliet... Anyway, What yonder window is breaking in the light? Or, something like that... I don't know. Anyway, I now own a PS2, w00t, and it's a lot of fun!! Yay! Anyway, not much has happened, Lizzie went missing, then I found her in a neighbour's house. So, not much going on... Yup...

/)/)

(-.- )

(")(")

Bunny is back! Please come back later.

Hiatus and presents

2008-09-16T17:22:00.002+01:00

Yes, once more I will acknowledge this: Hiatus is a funny word. Anyway, it was my birthday on September 4th, and I became 13. I happened to receive an interesting present. The following has been censored:

*********************************************************************************

*********************************************************************************.

As you can tell, a very interesting present.

New names and bunny

2008-09-02T08:47:00.002+01:00

Now my blog's name is "Kitties in the Land of Serendip". Why? Because I felt like it.

Bunny was kidnapped, and is being held to ransom. Please help bunny. Bye.

Bunny isn't here, I forgot. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

Off, again.

2008-08-29T10:54:00.002+01:00

Tonight I go somewhere else! Norfolk, to be precise with my best friend and his dad. It's gonna be fun! But I do want some time at home this summer, oh well.

See ya later (I acknowledge that this post was short.)

Where is bunny? Find out on the next edition of: The Penguin Finger.

France, the psycho dog and the saga of the bastard bread:

2008-08-27T21:04:00.005+01:00

I'm back, after, like 11 days in Hastings and France, I have returned to my primitive dwelling.

First, discuss France: hot, French and fun!

The psycho dog: While out a-walking in France I stumbled across a dog, running, barking with bell. My friend and I called to it, and knelt down. Suddenly we realised what we were dealing with: A psycho dog. It was barking at us, so I barked back. This decision nearly cost me my life. It barked at me again, then both my friend and I ran. I ran for my little life, pursued by a psycho barking its head off at me. I ran the fastest I have run like, ever. Hundred metres? 8 seconds? No challenge.

The bastard bread: There was a baguette in a french supermarket called bâtard, which I found most entertaining! Others did not...

It's my birthday soon! Can't wait!!!!! I want a mindless self indulgence album!!!

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∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

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Bunny is infinite. Please come back later.

PS Mr Stickman lost the sticklympics. Oh well, there's always London 2012!

No posts... For a while

2008-08-17T15:34:00.002+01:00

As always this summer, I'm off somewhere... To the land of nod... Until 28th August. Mr. Stickman is in rehab, so won't be joining us today. Now, some famous last words:

Ooh, what does thiiiiiiiiiiiis button do?

Inflammable means flammable!!

Don't worry, they're tame.

I bet I can lean further out of the window than you!

Look Ma! All my bowling balls are on the top shelf.

Do I cut red, or blue?

It's OK, they're blanks.

It's OK, I'm sure petrol's not flammable.

Wow! These pills are sweet tasting!

Yeah, sure you can die of drinking too much water, I'll prove you can't!

Don't worry, I'm a professional.

He's more scared of you than you are of him.

Stand up to that bully!!

Brown is earth, right?

What a lovely red button!

I bet I can juggle more battle-axes than you!

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(X.X)

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Bunny is............ WTF??

The Olympiadic sticks continue!

2008-08-14T10:30:00.003+01:00

Team GB are gradually winning medals, so Mr. Stickman will have a go:

SYNCHRONISED DIVING

------ *boing*

------ *sproing*

A *ulp*

>+P *weeeeeeeee*

b *ohhhhh sugar honey ice tea*

*CRACK*

Judge's Decision

1: 0

2: -17

3: ~~E=MC2~~ He has disproved the theory of relativity.

*Ambulence Enters* Mr. Stickman won't be doing Olympics... Well, for about a day.

He no look so good...

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(≈.=)

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Bunny went wrong. Please come back later.

Post with no name 'cause I can't be bothered to think of one...

2008-08-13T17:07:00.004+01:00

I haven't been posting for a while, firstly because I really couldn't be bothered, and then cause I was in Derby... Bad news. Ya don't wanna know. Really. I mean it. Well, you get the idea.

Now for a new topic, THE OLYMPICS:

000

My opinion is that a boycott would've been a good idea, but we don't exactly wanna get on the Chinese bad side, do we? Oh well. I think that I'll do my own Olympics, here. From my kitchen.

this is Mr. Stickman.

P <---------------------------- Head and neck

+ <---------------------------- Arms and rest of body

A <----------------------------- Legs

Now, for today's event: DISCUS

+O ------------------->*spins*--------------> *lets go*-------->*goes backwards*--> Total of: -8M!

That was weird... Yay! Hooray for weirdnessness!

Oh, on September 4th it's my burfday. Then, I'll be 13, and legally use Blogger! YAY!!!

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(ˆ.ˆ)

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Bunny is super-happy! Please come back later.

I was wrong about Belgium

2008-08-04T10:25:00.002+01:00

We're going to BRUSSELS! Not Bruges. My bad.

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(≥≤)

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Bunny is weird, and in war paint. Please come back later.

Quiiiiiiiite a catch up...

2008-08-02T20:01:00.002+01:00

Hrem hrem: I've been up North for a week, with the kitten. Lizzie found a tree. Not good at all. Nuff said. I went up Hadrian's wall, and I have 1 thing to say: I. HATE. HADRIAN! He didn't need to build a big wall on a big hill, it's all a big mess.

This post was meant to be longer, and I'll try and make it so, but I'm not sure how. Well, I went to a place, and someone had a FAKE WASHING MACHINE, however, they wouldn't accept that it was fake. She was planning to put water in it, and I wish she had, for I'd have had a good laugh about it. Oh well.

I won't be blogging for long, 'cause soon I'm off to... Ummmmmmmmmm... Brugie? No, that's not it. Ummmm. Well. It's Belgian. Ohhh, Brugges! That's the one. Or not, but by Tuesday I'll be on the Eurostar, to Belgium! Yay!! But I'm gonna be shunted 'round a lot this holiday.

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Bunny can't believe what he is hearing!!! Please come back later.

Quick final post:

2008-07-26T08:24:00.001+01:00

Alrighty, I'm about to go off North for a week, so... No posts!!! Shocker!

Pressure from family. Must get off laptop

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(=.=)

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Bunny is in war paint. Please come back later.

Time for a catch up

2008-07-21T16:58:00.005+01:00

Well, there are a lot of things to say. I haven't been posting for a while. This has been because I've been in Manchester with my Grandmother. You may wonder why this would sop me posting but no computer, no Internet, no fun. Well, it was fun as my Grandmother is slightly batty, and produces some very funny mishearings, and says some random stuff like:

Well, you see I was watching TV and she came in, saw me and said in her baby voice (a little like a inhaling a bit of helium) "Have his eyes fallen out yet?... Goggly-Woggly!!"

And in general, some retarded comments... No, you don't want to know... No. really.

Another reason is that my cousin has been staying here, and I've been playing cricket with him, and just going out and about in London.

Ok, now that that's over, I may as well tell you that Lizzie is normal, she has been relatively nice, but incredibly evil on occasion.

This will sound weird(er) but I've been unable to get at a computer for a while, as I said earlier, but this post has taken me THREE DAYS to write.

Now this post is almost over, there's only one thing to say:

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( -.-)

C(")(")

Bunny is bored. Please come back later.

Just one thing

2008-07-11T16:19:00.002+01:00

The thing is this:

/\,,,/\

[ >.< ]

(")(")

Gigglycat!!

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Hiatus

2008-07-11T11:22:00.003+01:00

That's a funny word. For those of you who know what it means, I'm not in one, I just like writing funny words.

Wobble

Banana

Occupying

Hiatus

Fuzzy

Blob

Dollop.

Yay! Now I have a list of wobbly, banana flavoured, fuzzy blobs and dollops occupying my blog, and they're all in a hiatus!

***I swear to you that last sentence was a COMPLETE accident***

I had a funny dream last night. I just don't remember it. You can't prove me wrong!

*Someone replies*

Well... *Comes up with immature response* You're smelly.

*Same person replies*

So what if I don't shower? It makes me smell... Natural...

*Same person once more replies*

Yes. Natural IS a good smell. Now get off my blog. You're wasting precious megahertz/kilobytes/kilohertz/ megabytes.

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( ><)

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Bunny feels ill. Please come back later.

Some random randomness

2008-07-10T12:14:00.002+01:00

What time is is? 12:17PM or, in other words, RANDOM RANDOMNESS TIME!!!!!!

If you stand in water you get wet! If you close your eyes you can't see! If you fall down a massive fight of stairs, it hurts! Sleeping should make you less tired!

If a dog is a dog and a cat is a cat, then what is a mouse? Is it:

(A) A pirate ship

(B) An annoying 12 year old

(D) A hybrid creation of a car, leopard and a fish monger?

Vote now!!

Some fun with Lizzie: Lizzie, my lovely, soft, happy, cuddly ball of pain has been running round the house recently... Well, actually, that's not much change as she's like that normally.

My Dream (Cue weird music)

*Takes in massive breath* Well last night I had a dream that I was in school and I saw a big dark cloud and I told everyone and they wouldn't believe me and then I saw a big twister/ tornado thingy and I said and everyone laughed and then I ran into a room and everyone hid then I found my family and we drove to a café and then we went back to my school and saw it was still there and then I woke up *Pants insanely*

All done!

Parodies, James@War and random rantings.

2008-07-08T13:12:00.005+01:00

Parodies and James@war tie together, as James@War (or J@W) makes really funny parodies. I'll put up a few videos now, see if you can spot Rapcat! He's in there somewhere...

Dammit, that didn't work, oh well, I'll just link:

Halo 3

Bad Grammar

Doomsday

Hey There Harry Potter!

Rapcat!

Now for my rant... Umm... Airline food, what's up with that? *Awkward silence* Well... I hurt my toe a few days ago... on a chair... What's up with that? *Another awkward silence* And WHAT'S UP WITH AWKWARD SILENCES? THEY'RE SO AWKWARD AND QUIET! *Tumbleweed* OK, maybe a career in stand-up-blogger-comedy-ranting isn't for me. Or is it?...

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( -.-)

C(")(")

Bunny is bored. Please come back later.

New News

2008-07-06T11:52:00.004+01:00

If you look ~~on your right~~ above you, you'll see a pink blob, and if you click on it or a song name, you get cool music, my choice!

Well, that's new, and I guess the news was that that was new... That made sense. As you've probably got a major headache by reading that, I'll confuse you some more, with.... LIZZIE!!.

Well, she's fine and crazy, so not much change there. I have discovered that if I'm sitting on a sofa, and Lizzie walks into the room, she rubs herself on my foot, and ends up rolling on the floor in happiness. But if I tickle her with my feet she bites and scratches me! Yes, I'm surprised too!

Well, I guess that's it!

/\/\

( -.-)

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Bunnycat is bored. Please come back later.

Olley

w00t w00t w00t!!!

2008-07-04T12:21:00.002+01:00

Well, if I give a post a traditionally weird title by my standards, I may as well tell you what it's all about. I would give you a definition but I'd imagine that there are very few entries in a dictionary for "w00t"

Well, I broke up from school yesterday, for the Summer!!!!!!!!!!!! Yayness :):).

However, there is a downside: we go back to school: ON. MY. BIRTHDAY. :(! Oh well, I'll be thirteen before most of my friends.

I think that Blogger has changed, as everything is a lot easier to do.

Lizzie!

Yep, now even I can put up a link. Hooray, and no more school!

Oh yes, more colours!!!

Still dizzy!

2008-06-28T08:07:00.002+01:00

Well, that's quite a weird title. Still dizzy... Well, I may as well tell you why I'm dizzy, or it wouldn't be much of a post, would it?

Still: still 1 |stil| adjective not moving or making a sound : the still body of the young man. • (of air or water) undisturbed by wind, sound, or current; calm and tranquil : her voice carried on the still air | a still autumn day. • (of a drink such as wine) not effervescent; compare with sparkle . noun 1 deep silence and calm; stillness : the still of the night. 2 an ordinary static photograph as opposed to a motion picture, esp. a single shot from a movie. adverb 1 without moving : the sheriff commanded him to stand still and drop the gun. 2 up to and including the present or the time mentioned; even now (or then) as formerly : he still lives with his mother | it was still raining. • referring to something that will or may happen in the future : we could still win. 3 nevertheless; all the same : I'm afraid he's crazy. Still, he's harmless. 4 even (used with comparatives for emphasis) : write, or better still, type, captions for the pictures | Hank, already sweltering, began to sweat still more profusely. verb make or become still; quieten : [ trans. ] she raised her hand, stilling Erica's protests | [ intrans. ] the din in the hall stilled. PHRASES still and all informal nevertheless; even so. still small voice the voice of one's conscience (with reference to 1 Kings 19:12). still waters run deep proverb a quiet or placid manner may conceal a more passionate nature. DERIVATIVES stillness noun ORIGIN Old English stille (adjective and adverb), stillan (verb), from a base meaning ‘be fixed, stand.’

Dizzy: dizzy |ˈdizē| adjective ( -zier , -ziest ) having or involving a sensation of spinning around and losing one's balance : Jonathan had begun to suffer dizzy spells | figurative he looked around, dizzy with happiness. • causing such a sensation : a sheer, dizzy drop figurative | a dizzy range of hues. • informal (of a woman) silly but attractive : he only married me because he wanted a dizzy blonde. verb ( -zies, -zied) [ trans. ] [usu. as adj. ] ( dizzying) make (someone) feel unsteady, confused, or amazed : the dizzying rate of change | her nearness dizzied him. DERIVATIVES dizzily |ˈdizəlē| adverb dizziness noun ORIGIN Old English dysig [foolish] ; related to Low German dusig, dösig ‘giddy’ and Old High German tusic ‘foolish, weak.’

WELL THE DEFINITIONS ARE OVER

I figured that that wouldn't make much sense to anyone... Including me. So, I'll just say that I went to Thorpe Park on Friday. I'm still dizzy 'cause I went on Nemesis Inferno 3 times! It's an AMAZING RIDE!

Here are some facts I found out about it:

NAME: Nemesis Inferno

TOP SPEED: 77 kilometres-an-hour

G-FORCE: 4.5 (positive)

LENGTH OF TRACK: Roughly 760 meters

RIDE DURATION: 121 secs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really loved Thorpe Park! We went on Tidal wave, Nemesis Inferno (Duh!), Detonator, X: No Way out and a few more that I can't remember!

See ya soon,

Olley

I'm going to try to make this post longer

2008-06-25T17:03:00.002+01:00

Well... I am.... No, really, I'm gonna try to make this post longer, it may not work, I'll still try, O.K? Now that's sorted, on to more important matters. waaaaaay more important

Why I'm annoyed
Well, I'm not really, but I may as well compile some reasons why people have annoyed me today:

Rupert: Punching me in the eye

Nick: Singing really loudly and in a high key when I have a MAJOR headache

Milo: See Nick

Fergus: Not coming to school

Milad: Coming to school

Lizzie: Scratching me, then looking at me like it was my fault (it was)

Teddy: Asking if I support Celtic, then being surprised (I don't, come on Liverpool!!)

Dillon: Turning on a gas tap, then putting some crappy toy TARDIS over the gas, then SMELLING it, come on, weird child!

Milad (again): I know he's on here once, but I really don't like him, so he's on here for existing (it's illegal on some planets!)

Well, that was a long (er) post.

APOLOGY
I'm very sorry, Cloretta, I kinda stole your idea of the annoying list, sorry. It's a really good idea!

Penguino Pepper
A.K.A
Olley
A.K.A
~~Pirateo Salt~~ that's a rubbish name. No-one call me that, please?

Bye

New look, and Aliens

2008-06-24T17:02:00.002+01:00

Wow, that title sounds like it will make an interesting post, doesn't it? Well, sorry to disappoint you, rubbish as normal.

New look:
Well, I thought the old one looked a bit rubbish, and I'm bored with penguins. Pirates rule! So too, do Ninjas...
That was long.

Aliens:
I lied, Lizzie hasn't stopped and alien invasions. GASP! She nearly caught a bird, though.

Again, a typically short post from a typically short child.

Euro 2008

2008-06-12T12:11:00.002+01:00

I've been watching Euro 2008 recently. As has Lizzie. She supports... Well, I dunno who she supports. If I ask her, she says "Mang" which isn't much use. The Premier League season finished, and the mighty Liverpool came 4th! Hooray.

I know that some people think that football is boring, so I'll try to write somehing else... Umm...

Umm... Did you watch the football? That's not working out is it? This is a boring post isn't it? Why on EARTH am I asking you?

Lizzie has got a new scratching post and it's big and fun! Well, for her. It also has an annoying little elastic mouse.

See you later.

Don't feel like posting

2008-05-26T09:27:00.001+01:00

Well... I guess the title pretty much sums up this post... Yeah... Ummmmm...

*runs away, very very far*

Yeah.

Hello friends associates people...

2008-05-07T19:07:00.002+01:00

I'm still here. Yep, still blogging away. Hooray!

Not much is going on, as always, but I had some time on the MacbookPro, and decided to put it to ~~good~~bad use.

Keep reading!

Penguino Pepper.

Olley

Updates

2008-04-27T12:46:00.002+01:00

Well, my life has moved on a small, miniscule amount, and although I can't quite verify how, I will blog about it.

HOME:
I think we're hopping around companies for gas and T.V. and elec. I also think there is something about a mortgage? (spelling??)

LIZZIE:
Kind of ties in with the theme of home. She is getting stronger and she can now make my hands bleed easily, and bite VERY hard!
She has conjunctivitis, and we have to administer drops reguarly to keep the infection at bay (Gross!). If you are a first time reader, Lizzie is my cat and you can see pictures of her here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/19574164@N00/292108894/
That is all in Lizzie I guess.

UMMMMM:
Well, that wasn't much of an update.
I have also updated my profile, if you want to see it.

Penguino Pepper.

P.S. Thanks to Cloretta and Laura for commenting!

Who?

2008-03-10T17:09:00.002Z

Who posted on my poll. Someone else put up an answer to my poll.

Hmmmmmmm... Was it... LIZZIE? Was it.... ME IN DISGUISE?... Was it.... SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW?? So many questions, so little time.

Itches...

2008-03-09T08:03:00.002Z

Have you ever found that your nose is itchy? Just when youv'e got oil on your hands, or paint, or you can't move for some reason, then your nose starts TO ITCH!

I am just ranting and raving about random stuff. Yes, it's because I don't have anything better to do.

As I type this, my nose is running madly, and I am going through a sneezing frenzy.

Ok, see you tomorrow.

Penguino Pepper.

If you read.

2008-03-08T07:43:00.002Z

I'm just putting up a post to say "If you read please leave a comment. I'm lonely on my one penguin iceberg." And in general, to anyone who has read this blog, I hope you are well, and if you like my blog tell me. I'll put up posts frequently if someone reads my blog.

PS Sorry for typos in my posts. I've got a new laptop and the keyboard is faulty.

Penguino Pepper.

On the 8th day...

2008-03-07T17:08:00.000Z

Hi! Yep. I'm back. Me again...

Noone cares do they? Oh well.

I am going to continue the bible, the book of Genosis. Please don't ke ofense if you are very reigious. This is a joke.

On the 8th day, after resting, God created pirates. On the 9th day, he created eyepatches, and peglegs. Oh, and pirate ships.
On the 10th day, he made DRACULA! And werewolves. On the 11th day, he made zombies and starwars. On the 2344563rd day, he invented numbers. On the final day god created...

LIZZIE!!!!

Happy Chrismas (late)

2007-12-29T10:57:00.000Z

Happy Christmas all. I haven't posed for a whie, but I haven't managed to get round to it. Lizzie is fine, and her claws are very sharp. We have had some relatives round, and that has been enertaining, if a little irritating :). So, happy new year! Do you have any resolutions? Mine is to blog more! If you ead his please leave a comment!

Penguino Pepper.

P.S. Merry Chrismas and Happy New Year!

I forgot something in that last post.

2007-10-23T10:19:00.000+01:00

I forgot something in that last post. I forgot to mention Lizzie, the kitten. She has been hyper active and very, very bitey. I know bitey isn't a word but who cares?

Short post wasn't it?

Why, Ohhhh why?

2007-10-23T10:15:00.000+01:00

I am currently mourning England's sporting hopes. They lost at rugby in the World Cup Final to South Africa and they lost to RUSSIA! at football. I mean, RUSSIA! They aren't perfect are they?

Ahhh. I enjoy my little rants and moans. Note emphasis on "little".

Victory!

2007-10-14T11:30:00.000+01:00

Hi. Last night I watched the England v France rugby match. If you didn't know, England won. That is why this post is called victory. It was really tense and exciting as France needed a converted try to win the game, in the last minute. This means England are in the final of the rugby world cup! England also beat Estonia 3-0 at football!

Lizzie has been immensely irritating, but very sweet!

Ok, see you later...soon...tomorrow...next week...in-the-near-distant-future....Or, just soon!

Desperate plee!

2007-10-11T19:11:00.000+01:00

People, people, people. I know anyone who has read much of my blog will think it is terrible, but look back to the first 2 months that I posted for. They were funny! Well, in my opinion. Please read my earlier posts, they're funny(ier).

From a very upset penguino pepper!

Lizzie

2007-10-11T18:52:00.000+01:00

This is a general update on the condition of my cat (really interesting!). She is very painful and niceless. I now have what I think is a nasty scar from the little ball of fur and hatred. I also have a rather large scab. Yes, I know, lovely isn't it? Lizzie turned 1 year old on the second of July. I should have done a birthday post shouldn't I? Oh, sorry Lizzie! If you look at some earlier posts, you can see cat wars: the original trilogy and an earlier one.

Ok. See yez later (maybe...). Mwahahahahaha! *chokes*

I'm back!

2007-10-11T18:36:00.000+01:00

Hi! I'm back again! I haven't been posting much, but I can't think of anything to write. I could spin around aimlessly, I could cry or I could tell you I great joke... I like spinning around aimlessly! Weeee...Weeeee.
*INHALE**EXHALE**INHALE**EXHALE**INHALE**EXHALE*

Ok, I feel better now. Bye!

Ouch.

2007-06-03T07:14:00.000+01:00

Ouch. Have you ever been paintballing? It really, really hurts. You can literally feel the bruise build as the brightly coloured sphere breaks on you. I have a huge bruise on my left shoulder, both nipples and my right buttock. It really hurts... BUT IT IS GREAT FUN!

Cat wars : The later trilogy

2007-06-01T07:29:00.000+01:00

Episode four: A NEW PURRR
Lizzie skypurrer is curled up purring when from nowhere, Lizzie sees the blue ball. With a miaow Lizzie leaps to the pursuit. She uses the claw sabre and puts the ball out of its misery.

Episode five: UMPIRE STRIKES BACK
Lizzie Skypurrer is innocently watching the younglings play in the garden when the is amsushed by a ball which the umpire should have caught. The Umpire has struck/stricken/striked back.

Episode six: THE RETURN OF THE REDEYE
Lizzie sees a photo on a camera. IT has red eyes. She thought the red eyes were gone on Pictures now. She is sent back to the pet shop for a while, and kills her father... Or sister... Or brother…Or Cousin…Or mother... Or aunt... Or uncle... Or second cousin twice removed.

Lizzie is... Well.

2007-05-14T19:10:00.000+01:00

After finally recovering from the vets, Lizzie gave a special interview to the members of Penguin Finger.

Lizzie stated that the state she was left in was in her own words "miaow". She also felt "Prrrrr" To be home. She later scratched the interviewer and ran away, leaving me cut and in need of medical treatment... NEWSFLASH. LIZZIE IS IN THE LAUNDRY PASSAGE. THE OFFICERS ARE NWO ORDERING HER TO COME OUT WITH HER PAWS UP. THIS MEANS SHE WILL NEED TO LEARN TO WALK LIKE HUMANS. Ok. Bye Bye.

Random poem

2007-05-10T18:38:00.001+01:00

Please excuse the randomness of this poem (Is that a word?)

One little piggy was walking down the lane, when another little piggy went insane,
Two little piggies were trotting up the road, and out of the blue, one became a toad.
Three little piggies were running across the street, when one little piggy lost all his feet.
Four little piggies were driving around the block, when one changed his name to Porky.B.Zoc.

Very random. So, anything going on with anyone else?

I've just done 3 posts in under 10 minutes. Oops.

Rhetorical answers

2007-05-10T18:31:00.001+01:00

Well why not? Rhetorical answers are the way forward. It has two purposes:

(1) Teacher: Why are you late?
Child: I was abducted by aliens!
Teacher: * Gathers breath *
Child: That's a rhetorical answer, you can't question it.

See? Perfect

(2) If someone asks a rhetorical question, shut them up with a good rhetorical answer!

I have GOT to stop doing this!

2007-05-10T18:26:00.001+01:00

By which I mean, have GOT to stop not blogging for ages, anyway, expect more posts.

Guess who's back? (V2.O)

2007-04-10T18:50:00.000+01:00

Again, guess who's back. Not me, I have only been gone as far as Manchester, but Lizzie is back. Retrieved from the cruel hands of a "Vets" Lizzie is at home. I have figured it out. Vets must stand for something. But what for? Voodoo extreme to sweetcats? No. Velocity eating tons of... erm. Ah. I don't know. But it must stand for something. It must. I will get back to you on this. In fact, I think I'll stick with the voodoo one. Has a ring to it, don't you think?

Slight mistake...

2007-04-03T11:16:00.000+01:00

So what if my earlier post was a tiny bit late. Well, you see the post was an April-fools-day-thing in its own special way. You see, I said April-fools a day late, and that was the joke. Err. Ok. Not very funny. Incidentally, how were the beans?

April Fools!

2007-04-02T14:14:00.000+01:00

To find out more, eat lots of beans, then check this blog later...

Aliens...

2007-03-26T20:35:00.000+01:00

Just recently I've been watching TV, and have seen a lot of shows about... ALIENS. It has actually been really interesting, particularly hearing loonies ranting about inter-dimensional portals, and UFOs, and crop circles. Crop circles look really, really cool. That is all.

Finally.

2007-03-26T16:55:00.000+01:00

Finally, after a fairly long time without writing, I have decided to write something. Now, to think of something to write, yes. I know. I have a disease. Known only as... THE COMMON COLD. Well, in a way. My nose is runny and sore, and I have a bad cough. Oh well, can't really be helped.

If anyone wants a really good blog to read, go to the links on the bottom of the page. You'll find a way better blog than mine.
Ok. Now that I have done this, I feel inclined to do loads of smileys.

Angry guy with a monobrow I:( Guy with sunglasses B-). In fact, I'll stop there. Bye.

P.S That wasn't loads of smileys.

THIS IS GOOD!

2007-03-24T08:30:00.000Z

Despite the fact that my throat is excruciatingly painful, I am really, really happy. I checked Google, and typed in "Penguin finger blogger penguino pepper", and very surprisingly ;-) I am top in the world, currently. YAHOO!

Eeeerrr....

2007-03-18T20:40:00.000Z

Errrm... I have had a spontaneous lack of inspiration. It's kind of annoying. In fact, it's very annoying. BUT I can rant about Wind In The Willows.

1. How do a Toad, Rat, Mole and Badger speak understandable English?
2. How does a Toad get its webbed fingers on a car?
3. How does said Toad have a HUMAN butler?
4. How can a Toad DRIVE said car?
5. How does a Rat know how to row a boat?
6. How does a Toad own a house?
7. How does a Toad have money?
8. How come no-one I know has raised these questions before?

Well, I suppose that was a blog entry, of a kind.

Wassup?

2007-03-11T20:33:00.000Z

Wassup? Well, wassup? anything? Me neither. Nothing has happened. Apart from a Lizzie episode...

Lizzie walks down the kitchen, and is attacked by a bouncy ball. She promptly retaliates by biting and scratching until said ball is no more.

CRISIS! BREAKING NEWS!!! LIZZIE HAS MOMENTARILY DISAPPEARED!! WHAT SHALL WE DO??????????
After hyperventilating, I have found the earlier mentioned cat, sleeping on the end of my bed. Little kitten is so happy to see me, and is feeling so cute, she decides to claw various objects around my bed, including several hands, which now are throbbing.

Sigh... Cats.

Trees, an epic tale

2007-03-10T20:44:00.000Z

A trees life.

Born, and grows into a tiny sapling. Just stretching out towards the sun when... BAM! And it is carted off to be made into a piece of paper, which becomes a flier, which gets stuck through our door about some pizza place you've never heard of, giving you a free pizza!(With special rat's droppings added on, and a whisker if your lucky!). And is then sent to be recycled, and gets made into a new flier, except this time, it is about save my people, ie, save my family. You pay me, and I but more things for my family, so we don't get bored. Then it keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going.

...

2007-03-09T19:34:00.001Z

...

Yahoo!

2007-03-09T15:13:00.000Z

I haven't been writing about it, but I'm glad LIVERPOOL KNOCKED BARCELONA OUT OF THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Now, I'm calm. I have to come into school on a SATURDAY for a play rehearsal. Very, very, very angry.

>(

Nothing going on

2007-03-08T19:48:00.000Z

Nothing going on. There. I've pretty much summed up the last two weeks of my life. Well, I suppose that's that... Nothing to do.

Nothing going on.

Nope nothing....

Story

2007-03-07T19:13:00.000Z

I've been working on a story in my spare time. I've decided to let anyone who cares look at it, and then get bored.

WHEN THINGS GO SERIOUSLY WRONG!
One day Jack Smith, a skinny boy from Lancaster woke up. He was twelve years old, and had blond hair. He was just about to go back to sleep when he saw the time.
8:30. He had missed his favourite tv show, frown on BBC one. He stamped down the stairs, squashing his mouse that had somehow got out of its cage on the way. He didn’t care. He was angry. Things were about to go SERIOUSLY WRONG.
His father was spreading butter on his toast with a carving knife and Jack threw a tennis ball so hard at the back of his head, that he narrowly missed himself with the knife.
Jack was so annoyed that his father hadn’t stabbed himself, that he went and re-squashed his pet mouse, Virgil.
HIs mother was a kind quiet woman, and normally Jack was kind and quiet too, but today Jack was feeling different and decided that as things today had gone wrong for him, things would go SERIOUSLY WRONG for other people.
He walked out of the house, cursing everyone who went past him. He went to his local supermarket, Dangerous directions whose slogan was making life taste worse, for more. First he went to the eggs, and had fun making egg omelettes in the chiller cabinet, until the store had run out of eggs, and then excited himself by tipping sunflower oil all over the aisles, so all the shoppers went gliding gracefully into each other at high speed. He soon bored of this, and went back outside to cause havoc.
He went to the local swiming pool, and watched children playing in the pool. He stared for a while then crept into the cupboard and grabbed a float or 30. He threw them. Hard.

Jack left the swimming pool, and he had enjoyed his day out. He watched as the men in white coats drove him away. He hoped he would have another one soon...

Down to earth

2007-03-07T19:07:00.000Z

The Wind in the Willows is a lovely story? Think so? Well, I don't and it is COMPLETELY unrealistic.

The real version of Wind in the Willows.
Everyone has a lovely time, and people invade Toad hall, and then get kicked out.

My version.

Rat meets mole, and after some indistinguishable squeaking, the mole and the rat engage in a battle. They both get boo-boos and go home. Toad hops out of his "Hall" and is devoured by a hungry eagle. No-one knows what happened to Badger...

Guess who's back?

2007-03-06T18:26:00.000Z

Guess who's back?

Well, if you guessed Paul Scholes, you're wrong. He is suspended, after taking a swing at Xavi Alonso (Excuse my spelling). Most football fans would know that. But it is not Paul Scholes who is back, it is I, PENGUINO PEPPER! I suppose most people now are left thinking "Not this nut case again. Does he ever stop annoying me?" on the other hand, you may be thinking,
"Oh great, him again. I like him annoying me."

If you think the latter, seek immediate mental help.

In the school play, "Wind in the Willows" I am an insignificant rat. Not the Rat, a rat. But I have been promoted from mime rat, or spiritual rat, to " The-rat-who-says-two-words-and-spends-most-of-the-time-he-should-be-doing-homework-saying-What's-that?-in-a-big-actor-voice"

Humph. I'd rather be a penguin.

Can't think of anything to write.

2007-02-24T11:28:00.000Z

The title says it all.

Sun is in the sky oh why, oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?

2007-02-23T19:57:00.000Z

Lilly Allen's song "Sun is in the sky etc." has a lot of faults which I would like to point out.

1. I'll give you a lot of reasons why you would wanna be anywhere else.
2. It's raining,
3. I'm cold,
4. The song is repetitive,
5. The sun tends to be in the sky, it's never biting my feet is it?
6. Because your probably being aimed at my some murderer, so you should flee the country, rather than singing.
7. It's wet,
8. I'd rather listen to Eminem,
9. The icebergs are meant to be melting according to global warming, so go and live on Mars, where the icebergs aren't melting.
10. I can't think of a tenth complaint, so I'm annoyed.

Humph.

Battlescar Galactica

2007-02-23T19:51:00.000Z

Battlescar Galactica is a series of injures inflicted on me by kitten. I've composed a script for it...

Me : Well, this is nice
Lizzie : Miaow. Now I shall kill you! Mwahahahah cough cough, sorry furball.

Epic choreographed fight ensues in a Power rangers like way. Eventually, many battlescars appear on hands. Series ends when my finger violently bleeds.

A cat's view...

2007-02-14T15:32:00.000Z

Lizzie's view on life.

I'm very bored. Let's see if I can find the white thing I used as a litter tray. I liked that. There was lots and lots of noise, so I know I have done my job. I know! I'll go on to the end of one of the children's beds. Pant, pant. Ok, there now. On to the bed, and look! I can see a foot. My Lizzie sense is tingling, I have to attack the foot.

Oh dear. Back down stairs for "Bad Behaviour," Honestly, I only got a little bit of blood out. Die, die, die you scratching post you. Now to find a stretchy lizard to kill. What fun!

Oh, look who came crawling back... The behaviour monitor. Well, I'll give him a piece of my mind. Eat tooth on foot, human.

Now I'm sad. He didn't like my present, I wouldn't mind if he bit my paw, but now it's all "Oww Lizzie, don't bite me, that hurts." Huh, humans.

I give up!

2007-02-14T15:30:00.000Z

Does anyone even read this? I bet they don't. If you do, please comment, even if you hate it, pleeeaaassssseeee.

Robben the cat

2007-02-11T17:35:00.000Z

Our cat seems to have taken to diving, like Arjen Robben, the footballer. Her paw was stepped on, and she miaowed loudly (Understandably). But then, in an hour or so, she was scratching people, with the injured paw. The little diver... When I get my hands on you.... And then..... Russum fussum..... In time, in time...

Mandarin Chinese

2007-02-11T17:29:00.000Z

I've been learning Mandarin Chinese, and decided to update you if you read this blog.

Ni Hao = Hello
Zi Jain = Goodbye
Wo Shi = I'm called
Ni Shi She = What's your name?
Ni Hao Ma = How are you?
Hi Hao = O.K
Wo Hen Hao = Not good
Bu Thai Hoa = DREADFUL
Retarderu = Retard (Japanese moment)

Ok, that's all I can remember. There is a lot more though!

Doom at foot!

2007-02-08T18:32:00.000Z

The headlines today should be:

Evil, evil people make innocent children stay in at break, and miss the snow.
Our reporter, I.B vereboring reports(He's Dutch) .

The children, despite protests, were forced into staying in at break, just because they started a teeny-weeny snowballfight with the year seven and eights. Some say it was for health and safety, others say the teachers wanted to drink coffee in the staff room. I say, it's because they went to the supermarket I referred to earlier and became cyberteachers. I'll bring more on the depressing story, as it happens.

The wrath of the kitten

2007-02-07T17:24:00.000Z

The kitten, who goes by the name of Lizzie, has now got several criminal records(in different names, Eizzil, Zzilei, Apu etc.).
One is for biting my toes while I sleep, and several assaults on noses, ears, toy dogs who have a bone to pick with her, and fingers that stray towards her tummy.

She also has accuracy problems when dealing with litter trays!(As if it wasn't bad enough!!!)
She has also offended several fellow kittens when she was still at the pet shop.

Things, like pets

2007-02-05T19:04:00.000Z

Some thoughts, about things. Just... things.............

Pets
Ahhh what a cute little pet that is. Isn't it cute how it's peeing in your shoes/using your leg as a scratching post? No. No it's not.

Toys
See life cycle of a plastic toy.

Computers
Great idea! It is secretly plotting however, WITH THE PRINTER not to print anything properly.

Plays
Boring or not boring? That is the question.

Scooters
Fun, fun, fun until you fly over the handle bars and knock out several teeth.

Lots of thing are fun! BUT REMEMBER, THEY ARE ALL AGAINST YOU!... Unless they're not, in which case, it's fine!

The Cat's symphony

2007-02-05T18:55:00.000Z

Today I heard Lizzie plonking away on the piano. Her tune varied, and was generally one note. I went to investigate her talent, to find that she was trying to capture some flowers on top of the piano. Next door I heard a power tool going, and imagined that a baby was also having a go at the shelving unit. Lots of fun!

The life cycle of a plastic toy

2007-02-04T20:12:00.000Z

A plastic power ranger is bought for £4.99. This is its odd life cycle.

Day 1:
Whizzes round the house destroying villains.

Day 2:
Whizzes round the house destroying more villains.

Day 3:
Walks round the house and orders a pizza to cure its depression.

Day 4:
Falls down the stairs and sleeps at the foot for the rest of the day.

Day 5:
Wishes it had brought a book, because it is very boring and painful down there being trodden on.

Day 6:
Becomes a boring toy and is destroyed by the evil kitten, LIZZIE OF DOOM!

Day 7:
Somewhere boring, and needs more pizza.

Day 8:
Dies due to lack of interest.

Cat wars : The original trilogy

2007-02-04T17:19:00.000Z

Episode I:
Lizzie the cat fights the evil Darth Bath-full-of-water Vader. Lizzie produces her claw sabre, but falls into Darth Bath-full-of-water Vader, and gets very upset.

Episode II:
Lizzie attempts a surprise attack on Darth Bath-full-of-water Vader. Darth Bath-full-of-water Vader isn't very surprised, but in Lizzie's excitement she jumps in and again, gets very wet.

Episode III:
Lizzie finally defeats Darth Bath-full-of-water Vader because it is empty. She settles down for a nice sleep, but Darth Bath-full-of-water Vader drips evil water on her head. Lizzie rips up her Cat Wars contract, and goes to play with her scratching post.

The supermarket

2007-02-04T16:02:00.000Z

Just went to a supermarket. Very odd conversation...

Mum: What would we like for lunch?
Sister: This is boring...
Me: This is a cyberman factory!
Dad: Where's the entrance?
Me: We have to escape!
Mum: We can have soup, pasta, pizza, what do we fancy?
Me: THE CYBERMEN WILL INVADE! WE MUST ESCAPE!!!

Ok. Cat is going to try an escape operation via a tree in the back garden.

Bye Bye!

Hello Penguins!

2007-02-04T13:10:00.000Z

Hello! This is penguino pepper speaking. On a subject related to nothing in particular, I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK! Ummm..... Inspiration lack... EXTREME. I'm not sure why I'm called penguino pepper. It probably has something to do with penguins and peppers. SHOCKING NEWS! I also like potatoes (on a random roll...) I like cereal! I make people look at me oddly, When I express a need for bunnies. I like bunnies. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE ON FIRE!!!! Ok that was extremely random. Even by my standards. Ok see you soon... IF YOU EVER RETURN!!! MWAHAHAHA (chokes on tongue and falls off chair)